Sometimes, participating in DNA testing leads to the
overwhelming sense of being lost in a strange world of numbers, big terms, and
incomprehensible concepts. Muddling through the middle of it all can seem
mind-numbing.
On the other hand, there’s nothing like success to shake one
loose of that DNA malaise.
I mentioned to you,
back in November, that I was contacted by a person whose mitochondrial DNA test
results came back as an exact match to mine. For me, this is an unusual result.
Out of the three tests I administer for my family—both my husband’s and my
brother’s Y-DNA test and my own mtDNA test—this was the only instance of
finding anyone who came as close as
that.
The drawback was: the person claiming this exact match is an
adoptee.
Put in a tailspin, trying to figure out just who among my
mother’s maternal line ancestors—unbeknownst to anyone else in the
family—could have put up a child for adoption, I did what I could to help my new mystery
cousin with this quest.
The only help I could offer, it turns out, was a feeble
attempt at comparing data. You see, if I trace my mother’s maternal line back
through the generations, I don’t get very far. As you’ve already realized, if
you follow A Family Tapestry with any
regularity, is that I am stuck at the level of my second great grandmother.
That's the puzzle I've been trying to unravel, following that
email from my mystery cousin back in November. I did write about the search,
tangentially, in a couple more posts on DNA in December and earlier this month.
Behind the scenes, the two of us were emailing back and forth, comparing notes,
discussing possibilities—in my family (despite its limiting, brief documentation) and in his own research.
To his credit, my mystery cousin has been very focused on the pursuit. For someone
with a background in genealogical research, this quest might have seemed easier, but
there were multiple steep learning curves to mount in his case: the aspects of
finding birth parents, overcoming legal obstacles of various states’ “sealed”
adoption policies, learning about the world of DNA testing and the skills of
genealogical research.
It was the aspect of DNA testing that helped lead this
cousin to possible matches. While the mtDNA test provided a bit of direction,
the main test that proved useful was the autosomal DNA test. This test
identifies matches of a much closer familial range than the mtDNA or Y-DNA test
can provide, making it the practical choice for such a pursuit. Not that it makes
things easier. The test, in itself, is not a turnkey operation; the researcher does need to know what he is doing—and be prepared to put in lots of work
following through with the search. DNA tests are a tool, not “The Answer.”
What I’m so excited to share, today, is that almost exactly
two weeks ago, my mystery cousin emailed me the simple announcement:
I have found my birth mother.
Overjoyed on his behalf, of course I wanted to know the
details. This was, after all, somehow a person related to me. While we are
still plotting out the nexus between his birth mother’s line and my mother’s
line—hint: this may go back a long way beyond my brick wall second great
grandmother—I am enjoying the latest reunion news from my cousin. He and his
mom have spent hours chatting online, then by telephone and in a face to face
meeting.
The conversation didn’t stop with their reunion. Both of
them are intensely keen on sharing their story—the pain of the separation, the
years of the search, the methods of the search and how they reconnected.
Besides, after mounting that steep learning curve, now this cousin has a lot to
share, as a resource in helping others with their search for their birth parents as well.
Their story is not over, of course. There is much to catch
up on, after a lifetime of separation. Once they move beyond the exhilaration
of this reunion, though, I, for one, hope they put their story in a form that
can be passed on to others in the same dilemma. Telling their story at conferences
would be nice. A book would be great. No matter how they share the saga,
though, just the fact that they can
share it is the most important part.
Sometimes, it is easy to see how DNA testing can work for
others—but hard to actually put it to work for ourselves. In my cousin’s case,
as an adoptee totally new to the field of genealogy, he had the motivation to
learn—and then, to do what he had
learned.
My closest not-already-known-cousins on my 23andMe account on both my maternal and paternal sides are both adoptees. I almost feel an extra obligation to keep them in the loop when I have some new information.
ReplyDeleteOh, do, Sally! Your adoptee cousins will certainly appreciate it. I sometimes feel that some of my matches who are adopted want to know, but don't even possess enough of the skills we've developed in genealogical research to know how to proceed with their search.
DeleteWhat I learned from my mystery cousin is that there are some helpful resources online for both adopted children and birth parents who would like to reunite. My cousin heartily recommends the organization known as ALMA. They have a Facebook page, incidentally, which your adopted matches are welcome to request access to. Volunteers in groups such as these are well versed in guiding others through the search process--and are very encouraging and supportive, as well.
Wowsers!! I bet you and your cousin got that "Full Circle" photo returned sort of rush!!
ReplyDeleteI hope this new info helps your cousin get closure and feel better.
Oh, yeah, Iggy, I would definitely say it's a Full Circle rush! Exponentially!
DeleteAs he says, though, it's only the beginning of the journey...
Wow! What an amazing story!
ReplyDeleteIt's the kind of story that makes everyone happy to be happy for someone else. Very heartwarming. I was so glad to get that email!
DeleteVery happy that this story has a reunion in it. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Marian. Yes, it was so rewarding to get to the reunion! I hope everyone who has DNA matches with adoptees will encourage them to persevere. It is a lot of work, but it is possible to get results from such a search.
DeleteJacqi,
ReplyDeleteI want to let you know that your blog post is listed in today's Fab Finds post at http://janasgenealogyandfamilyhistory.blogspot.com/2015/01/follow-friday-fab-finds-for-january-30.html
Have a great weekend!
Thanks, Jana! I hope this brief story helps to encourage others to pursue the same results. I know there are many adopted people out there, hoping their DNA test results will lead them to answers.
DeleteWow what great news!! I hope this helps out your research! :)
ReplyDeleteWe are each working from our end, hoping to meet in some maternal line middle ground. Hopefully, the connection will be within the time period in which we can find written documentation of our ancestors. So far, we're still researching the line in the United States, back to the mid 1800s, with no viable connection in sight.
Delete