The Family Genealogists Meet

 

There is likely no one else in the world other than those of us who care about our family history who can say that news about a distant cousin would have an impact on us. How many people even know who their third cousins are—let alone meet them? And yet, earlier this week, my mother's cousin called to tell me that her third cousin had just died, and I not only knew exactly who she meant, but felt a sadness over the loss. After all, I had met this third cousin before.

Perhaps this sense of connection is for those of us who also know where our families once lived. Those of us who know the story of our ancestors, the key features of their lives, may relate to this feeling more closely. After all, this distant cousin of mine still lived in the same small town where his second great-grandfather—my third great-grandfather—had settled shortly after his marriage. The family has lived there for a long, long time.

I had met this cousin, thanks to an introduction by my mother's cousin, who made it a point to keep in touch with the descendants of those original settlers. I had asked for that introduction, and afterwards, I was so glad I did. Walking the land where those ancestors lived and farmed is an experience I can't match in words. I guess that's why people value what's meant by the term "heritage."

Mulling over that phone call this week sparked many other thoughts. I realized we live in an age in which we have the ability to reach out to those who were previously mere strangers but whom we now realize are family. Granted, there is an element of relationship required before we can bestow that term "family" upon those we've never met before, but that relationship can grow more quickly than we'd assume. Meeting this cousin for the first time, spending hours talking about the people important in his branch of the family, sharing what we knew about those who have gone on before—that becomes fertile soil for growing that family relationship with yet another cousin whom we'd never known before.

While I'll miss being able to visit this distant cousin in his hometown again—and certainly his treasury of family anecdotes and insights—the thoughts his passing sparked make me realize how blessed we are to be able to reach out and connect with those strangers who are willing to explore the "familyness" of our relationship.