Context Before Relationship

 

Not all jokes are funny anymore.

A while back, someone shared a joke with a group I was in. I didn't get it. Not because I lack a sense of humor; it was likely because the story line referred to some celebrity I know nothing about. I didn't know the context behind the joke's story line. I missed a chuckle, but spared everyone the monotony of a post-mortem on a now-vanished moment of mirth.

From that fleeting experience, I realized something: context is king if you want to function in any social circles. It doesn't matter whether you belong to a D&D gamers' group or a grandmother's knitting circle. If you don't track what's new and upcoming in that interest group, you likely also don't have a basis for ongoing relationship. Not only are the jokes not funny, the gossip is meaningless, and the heart-to-heart confidences might never make their necessary appearance.

I kept thinking about that moment of the missed joke for quite a while. During that time, I had been meeting with various genealogical groups in my region, noticing the differences in membership composition. While the "personality" of each society might have been different—some more eager to ask questions after presentations, some more focused on research techniques or relevance to local history—there was one inescapable solidarity: this is primarily the domain of those retired enough to spare time for family history pursuits. And that's a particular shared context.

Those of us in genealogical societies have been at it for quite some time. Those who choose to join us are more likely to first size us up with the conclusion that they can easily become one of us. Why? The context resonates. In other words, they are examining the context of our group—the topics we discuss, the terms we use, the comparisons we make. If they understand the terms we use, the way we think, the buzz words we resort to, that puts them at ease and they will feel more comfortable envisioning themselves becoming part of our group.

If not? I'm beginning to wonder whether it is really the terminology of genealogy—the pedigree charts, the family group sheets, the third-cousins-twice-removed—that keeps potential new members from joining genealogical organizations. Could it actually be something else—like the social context, itself?

Perhaps those genealogy programs which focus on discovering the roots of current celebrities are not far off base. Those for whom names like Ciara or Jesse Williams resonate will not be attracted to our local society if we don't learn to talk the talk like Dr. Henry Louis Gates has done. If we want a different membership in our group, we need to talk like the people we want to join us.

Membership in an organization is a form of relationship. Before new people will join a group, they need a positive feeling that their context is the same as our context—talking the same language, sharing the same day-to-day concerns, even laughing at the same jokes. Changing the name of our group from Washington County Genealogical Society to Washington County Genealogical Association does not provide that context. What does is when new eyes look at the current group and see themselves in our membership.