tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034998384799920884.post2555495232554737905..comments2024-03-16T13:05:52.650-07:00Comments on A Family Tapestry: The World Through Sam’s HandJacqi Stevenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03471698670217119444noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034998384799920884.post-25025536799659551082013-05-19T22:28:54.844-07:002013-05-19T22:28:54.844-07:00Mariann, you zero in on the kernel of the matter. ...Mariann, you zero in on the kernel of the matter. With so many limits, Sam chose the <i>other</i>, less intuitive, fork in the road--not only in the opposite direction from the natural teen tendencies, but away from the dismal despair that surely enveloped him, once the reality of his future first sank into his mind.<br /><br />You know it had to be partly owing to the strong constitution and efforts of several others with significant roles in Sam's life: his mother, his teacher at the Berkeley school, for example. While it was Sam's to make the choice which way he would respond to his inescapable predicament, it was the effective teamwork of many others working together with Sam that yielded the outcome that made the difference for him.Jacqi Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03471698670217119444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034998384799920884.post-82753099832503178882013-05-15T09:06:33.990-07:002013-05-15T09:06:33.990-07:00You can count me among those with "breathless...You can count me among those with "breathless affect." I cannot imagine how Sam found the life he did--it's beyond my envisioning. He was left only with smell, touch, and taste. I've often had the thought that all his perceptions were concentrated in his hand, and now someone is expressing it. The fact that he started his journey toward hope at 13 -- an age when many are rebellious anyway -- is all the more amazing.Mariannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09543003593158696611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034998384799920884.post-45731615041543577792013-05-13T21:09:06.856-07:002013-05-13T21:09:06.856-07:00Silent and Dark really became a motif for Sam. I d...Silent and Dark really became a motif for Sam. I don't know whether he played that theme for his "public" or whether he dwelt on it much in his own mind. He did stick with that "new love" of chess after Maud died, but that family seemed to have an intensity of purpose that would make such a reaction seem plausible.Jacqi Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03471698670217119444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034998384799920884.post-78258525424244615532013-05-13T21:06:11.050-07:002013-05-13T21:06:11.050-07:00Wendy, you are absolutely right about the difficul...Wendy, you are absolutely right about the difficulty of coming across as a warm, loving supportive father. In the few pictures I've seen of Sam--admittedly in his younger years--he came across as so stiff and formal. Just the very affect you mentioned. That must have been a challenge for him.<br /><br />On the other hand, Sam had two things going for him. First, he was a real people person. He thrived on being with people. Hopefully, that came across on the home front as well as when he was out in public.<br /><br />Secondly, despite the truth of your assessment of an "unfair reality," Sam had to make a choice: whether he was righteously going to take his stand as martyr in the face of that unfair reality, or buck up and find a way to enjoy what part of life he still could enjoy. He evidently chose that latter path, and apparently his cheerfulness was infectious. Let's hope it was so in his home as well. Jacqi Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03471698670217119444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034998384799920884.post-44656264094317201102013-05-13T20:59:41.548-07:002013-05-13T20:59:41.548-07:00Wow, Iggy...the first reaction I had to reading th...Wow, Iggy...the first reaction I had to reading that was, "How awful!" But then, it just occurred to me: are they teenagers? I think all kids go through phases, and I think quite a few--myself included--may have found themselves at a transitory stage considered to be "lacking discretion." At least, for your brother's sake--and the sake of his sons (and their reap-what-you-sow future)--let's just hope that is the case.<br /><br />I really don't know how respectful Sam's own sons might have been. Keep in mind, Sam and both his sons passed away before I knew any of the family, so all I have to go on is hearsay. Thankfully, nobody mentioned anything like that, though I wouldn't be surprised if either of them had their moments.Jacqi Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03471698670217119444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034998384799920884.post-74606865436641079212013-05-13T12:33:43.913-07:002013-05-13T12:33:43.913-07:00My older brother can not hear his sons talking - a...My older brother can not hear his sons talking - and they say horrible things knowing this. I hope Sam's kids were a lot nicer.Intense Guyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08441598926026727682noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034998384799920884.post-14982238055498453672013-05-13T08:45:05.046-07:002013-05-13T08:45:05.046-07:00So he carried on with his life just as it was afte...So he carried on with his life just as it was after Maud died...it must have been hard for him. Silent and Dark..I cannot imagine it:( Far Side of Fiftyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07995757632158408442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034998384799920884.post-6850071770592323782013-05-13T03:27:56.130-07:002013-05-13T03:27:56.130-07:00Your title plus the paragraph that you quoted last...Your title plus the paragraph that you quoted last drive home what it meant to be Sam. That he never saw his wife and children, their affection or their problems, is such an unfair reality. Often we know someone is hurting not by their words but by their expression, or body language, or tone, or by what they don't say. It must have been difficult to come across as a warm, loving, supportive father when denied those visual clues that are so revealing and important in communication. Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17863357756727783017noreply@blogger.com